it's all about the melvins.

Melvin is an old man. He has liverspots on his scalp, clearly visible through the thin white hair he combs across the top of his head. His hair is still thick on the sides, like rabbit fur. It looks soft. He wears pastel cardigans over his golf shirts, which he pairs with slacks and loafers. His jowls tremble and swing a little when he smiles, which he does a lot. Melvin lives in an apartment. Every Thursday he goes to a dance studio not far from his apartment and dances, ballroom style, with anyone who will dance with him. He foxtrots, waltzes and cha chas. Sometimes he asks women he meets at the dance studio to come home with him. As far as I know, no one ever has.

All of this is true except that his name is really Fred.