roofies on fire

I got an email from my ex husband the other day telling me that a bar in the town where we used to live has burned down.

The town he moved back to after I moved back to Tulsa and then he moved back to Tulsa and then he moved away again. He moved back to the place we used to live. We didn't drift so much as shifted apart between two anchor points.

But I'm rambling. Remember the time I got roofied? Happened in that bar. The bar that burned down.

I got to thinking about places I remember on the coast, places that are significant for one reason or another, and how many of them have been destroyed. The casino where I used to work, Katrina smashed it all up.

Katrina also carved my storage unit out of a row of storage units, which I found a bit disturbing but chose not to dwell on it much.

Come to think of it, Katrina stomped my old apartment flat. Maybe 2 of my old apartments. I moved around a lot on the coast. Never quite got comfortable.

I have this image of Katrina chasing me around like a housewife trying to stomp a cockroach. Always too slow. I was out of there almost one whole year ahead of that bitch. I have infested another part of the country.

My mom died while Katrina destroyed the place I used to live and I know I keep revisiting that but it's kind of a big deal to me. I spent an aimless desperate suicidal shellshocked year after that. Maybe longer. It carved something out of me, leaving sockets like the spaces where teeth used to be.

But let's talk about now.

Now it's stopped snowing in Tulsa.

I went to back-to-back pilates and yoga classes last night at the YWCA and got my ass thoroughly kicked. I'm sore all over today. Love it.

The YWCA doesn't have those lovely massage chairs I used to like so much at my old gym, but they do have a hot tub. I stayed in it until I felt cooked.

I'm still learning how to grocery shop. Sometimes I have to just let myself wander, because what I want surprises me. I got picnic food last night. Cheeses, meats and crackers, imported chocolate biscuits, nibbly things and tea. A picnic for a snow day.

I'm looking forward to running tonight in the snow. Weird, that.

Hearing on Monday. I am cautiously optimistic about this CASA thing.

How are you?

i'm pretty snotty on my best day

Things that are awesome, a list.

• Bullet points. No kidding, I love these things.
• My yoga teacher called me today because I've missed a week of classes and she wanted to make sure I was okay. Awwww.
• I joined the YWCA! (I said I like it here, can I stay? And do you have a vacancy for a back-scrubber?)
• The Coen brothers did in fact make a lovely movie with The Man Who Wasn't There. I watched it yesterday and loved it. When Frances McDormand said, "Enjoy your goddamn cherries," I almost fell over laughing. I love that line. I love that woman.
• My landlords got my tub drain fixed. On Saturday. Because the guy tried to come in on Friday and Loki freaked out, so the guy left because he didn't want to freak the cat out anymore.
• Nassim. Sometimes he's the only reasonable person in my house. I think Loki and I would have killed each other by now if it weren't for Nassim and his unflappable sweetness.
• Being all right with being a crazy cat lady. I hope this means I get to wear hats.
• Hats.

Loki in Eddie's scarf before I finished making it.

yeah, whatever

I've been sick. *koff*


I ran 3 extra miles Monday night so I could meet up with my sister and run at her pace without feeling restless. It mostly worked. I need to work harder on letting her take the lead. I find myself running just ahead of her, looking back over my shoulder every thirty seconds. I know that's got to be annoying for her, especially when I keep trumpeting, "YOU set the pace! We're out here for YOU!" If I were her, I'd probably tell me to stuff it. But she's nicer than me.


Anyway, I woke up Tuesday not feeling great. Picked up cold medicine and tea at the nearest drugstore and made it through most of a workday before surrendering. Got new movies at the library, got sickie food at the grocery store and went home to cocoon.


So. Since Tuesday I have:

• slept. A lot. A lot a lot.
• taken about three pounds of drugs. I love drugs. Alka-Seltzer Plus Cold in Cherry Burst, Mucus Relief DM, Fisherman's Friend lozenges, ibuprofen by the handful, Emergen-C in Super Orange, Nyquil in great big guzzles.
• drank gallons of tea. Bromley's Cool Mountain Mint tea and a mint/chamomile blend that's actually pretty pleasant by Bigelow called Sweet Dreams. Sometimes with honey in it, but usually not because I spill things a lot and it's easier to clean up plain tea than sticky nasty honey-filled tea.
• eaten next to nothing because for days, it was TOO HARD TO OPEN A CAN OF SOUP. Thankfully, Eddie has come by with hot and sour soup when I haven't had the wits about me to call and order it. I love Asian Chef Delivery. Eddie's no slouch, either.
• watched the first disc of Flight of the Conchords, Season 2. Sugalumps is so going on my running playlist. Yay for Netflix.
• watched Dinner for Schmucks. Hilarious. Double yay for Netflix.
• watched Julie & Julia. Liked it. Was slightly disturbed by the idea of liking a Nora Ephron movie. Checked myself for fever. Realized I can't check myself for fever by pressing my own hand against my own forehead. Made a mental note to buy a thermometer. Discarded mental note because thermometers are for babies. Do I really like Nora Ephron? Is this okay with everyone? Because I don't think I can help it. I think maybe I just like her. Maybe we will all just have to deal with this. Mostly me.
• watched Days of Wine and Roses (yay library!). Got really sad. Wished I wasn't sick so I could watch it with a nice sloshy glass of wine and take it and myself very seriously. Was jarred and unsettled. Will have to watch it again.
• watched True Grit. (Yay Redbox and yay Eddie!) Was very unkind about the girl playing whatshername (but it hurt too much to talk, so I kept it to myself until now). Liked John Wayne. Kept falling asleep. Will have to watch it for real, now that the worst of this cold seems to have passed.
• started to watch The Man Who Wasn't There (liberry) and realized the Coen brothers are too much for me when my head is spinning. Probably an excellent movie. Will have to start over.
• emailed Brian to let him know I can't volunteer for Athens Big Fork. Because I don't want to make anybody else sick. Because this is the first time I've left the house since Tuesday and I'm still a little shaky. Because I suck and I'm a wuss. He emailed back and was very nice about it.
• emailed my CASA supervisor to let her know I could not attend an emergency hearing. Because I had very little voice. Because I suck and I'm a wuss. She emailed back and was very nice about it.
• emailed my landlords about my tub drain, which has been getting slower and slower. I used to be very good at unclogging drains, but this one has me stumped. I can't seem to fix it. I've tried the plunger trick and the wire hanger trick. I'd do the baking soda and vinegar trick, but I doubt it will help. I have not heard back from my landlords. They'll fix it, though. They always fix stuff for me.
• typed up this very impressive list.

There you have it. My entire week in a list. This is the longest I've been conscious at one stretch since Tuesday afternoon. Wooooo!